Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
