Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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