bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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