Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
