We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
