Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
