the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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