Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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