If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
