I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
