I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I am one with the molecules
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
