Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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