Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
