Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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