Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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