i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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