But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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