Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize