CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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