I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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