I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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