You made me cry and you don't even care
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
