That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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