I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wear drunk well.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
