We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
