I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
