Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
