Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just invented taco cereal.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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