Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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