Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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