she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
