what if every blade of grass was a penis?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize