You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
