the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
