I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
