Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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