Pappa wants mamma naked
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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