Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
