Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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