Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
