Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
