he told me I talked like a deaf person
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize