dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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