Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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