it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
