oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize