just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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