I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
