I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
