These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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