Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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