D3 body, D1 cock
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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