he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
