I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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