I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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