she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
