Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
