There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
