thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i now understand why vodka
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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