My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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