Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
