TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
where are my eyebrows?
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