i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
