I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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