"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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