So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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